I can't blog often now not only because I am in the midst of thesis writing/
2.
The in-laws returned home last Thursday. I hope the good times here outweigh the not-so-good ones, and they won't be complaining too much about us or Japan to others. They went places - covered most of Tokyo's tourist-must-see areas, as well as Yokohama (Mak Rasah had a great time at Rose Garden in Minato no Mieru Oka Koen, and we visited Aka Renga for the first time after numerous visits to Yokohama), Hakone (the 'normal' Hakone Freepass schedule - Pirate sightseeing ship, ropeway, cable car, mountain train - with better and improved facilities in Hakone, unlike our trip back in 2006) and Disneyland (good: hubby and I managed to take lots of rides; not-so-good: Abah Rasah wanted to return home as early as 6.00 p.m. and Mak Rasah trembled from cold weather even when it was rather warm for Tokyo in May. We finally went home at about 8.45 p.m.)
3.
Unlike most asthmatic kids, Huzaifah is most prone to asthma attack in summer rather than in winter or spring. His first asthma attack happened in summer, and last week, on a warm Wednesday (25 C) when even his Nenek did not have to wear her cardigan, he got an asthma attack. He could eat ice-cream on cold winter nights, or play in a pollen-infested field in spring with no worries at all, but come summer - he would start coughing out of the blue, which lead to wheezing and all.
Faizly was with us in Ueno when it happened. After trying to look for a clinic and failed to find one, we decided to ask for direction at a Koban (police kiosk) in Ueno Koen. The policeman at first showed us direction to a clinic about 800 metres away, and should the clinic be closed (it was already past 5.00 p.m. then, and many clinics are closed at 5.00 p.m.) we were advised to go to a public Hospital which is about a further 1km away from the clinic. I was already tired of looking for a clinic and asked the policeman to call for an ambulance, "My child needs it"
At the mention of the word "kodomo", the policeman almost started panicking, asking me back "kodomo? kodomo?" a few times, as he suddenly realised that I was not asking for direction to get help for my asthma attack but rather my child's.
The ambulance arrived about 5 minutes after I filled up some forms (Japanese and their love for paperworks...)
4.
Huzaifah was not admitted in the hospital, alhamdulillah.
The thing with my son is that even when he is under asthma attack, he still has lots of energy. That's why I believed that much more of the nebulizer the was prescribed for him vaporized in the air rather than inhaled by him. Alhamdulillah there was this one friendly obachan-like nurse-san which kept encouraging Huzaifah to inhale his nebulizer properly (through various means - cheering him on, teasing him, warning him sternly etc)
5.
I finally ate some birthday cake, more than a week after my birthday. Faizly brought a Nutty Chocolate ice-cream cake at Baskin Robbins on the way back from the hospital. (Thank you Sabah - you are the best!)
Of course, we didn't let Huzaifah had the ice-cream, just the cake portion, and he was okay the next day, so no worries.
6.
Mak was admitted to PPUM for a mild heart attack on Sunday. At first she was told that she might be warded for a few days, but yesterday the specialist who looked at her case said that she could be discharged, and so she was in late evening. Mak said it is nothing to worry about really - it's only normal for people with high-blood pressure problem to face this next. She has been very busy lately doing voluntary charity works, in fact, she started feeling "berdebar-debar" since Saturday when she visited an orphanage in Teluk Intan, but it was not until Sunday night when she finally asked Ayah to take her to the hospital. It goes without saying that she was one of the first to get to see a doctor in the Emergency section that night...
And her observation upon leaving the hospital?
"We need more doctors, especially local specialists, we need more hospitals, we need more efficient and daring administrators, and not some lame and lazy ones who keep giving excuses on why we can't make all these things happen..."
7.
While I can't answer the question of "Why aren’t Malay men these days like our fathers?", I for one am glad that my husband and many of the male friends I know are not like our fathers.
Since Malay women these days are not like our mothers, I guess it is inevitable that the same applies to Malay men.
I mean, let's be honest, how many Malay men in our father's generation would have supported our mothers pursuing an MA or PhD course? Or sharing household chores/taking care of the children/etc. My Ayah used to ask for "air, air" even when the glass was already laid in front of him and the pitcher was just next to him. Abah Rasah, according to Mak Rasah, simply refused to help in the home for fear of being labeled "kena queen control".
While he hates cooking, hubby usually helps with the laundry, cleaning the house, and doesn't mind taking turn preparing baby's milk at night. And sometimes he even offers making tea/Milo for me instead of just requesting them all the time (from the wife) like his or my father does. (yes, I know, hubby could be very sweet at times, and I thank Allah for being blessed with him by my side) I also know a few male friends/relatives who are better cook than their wives, and doesn't mind making meals when guests show up unexpectedly. Maybe not all are as efficient or effective with household chores like the wives would have expected, but the point is they help and do not tell the wife back, "eh, ini kerja orang perempuan lah"
And let's not even discuss public display of affection. Mak once received a long lecture from Ayah after she impulsively gave him a peck on the cheek at the airport just before she went overseas. I think most Malay husbands nowadays are more open when it comes to showing PDA - holding hands, a peck on the cheek, cuddles, hugs - all within 'acceptable' range of course, none of those which might incite "Oy, get a room!" response from other onlookers.
I don't want Malay men to be more like our fathers, I just wish that they become better practising Muslim. Practising Muslim men try to follow the examples set by Rasulullah in that he did not feel ashamed to do household chores himself - he sewed and patched his clothing himself, repaired his shoes, kindled the fire, swept the floor, milked the cows etc. Practising Muslim men does not only remind their wives from time to time that the husband is numero uno, but also remember that Rasulullah has said, "The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives".
